Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Rights and leftovers

Paul writing from Philippians 3:4-11

If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless. But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ (skip to verse 10) I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
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Somehow eversince army started I realized that I became increasingly easily angered. Especially when things do not go my way when it should and could have blatantly been. It really stings when I do not get what I’m entitled to get, like when it is ‘your rights’ to have it. It also really stings when I try with all my ability to be perfect, to control things and yet things still go wrong. And that’s where I realized that failure cost me much.

I guess more and more I’m beginning to kind of understand what it feels like to be in Job’s shoes. To know that I’m really not entitled to anything and that I really don’t have any rights to anything whatsoever. I guess God is really teaching me what it means to leave everything behind - ‘rights’ inclusive. My dreams and ambition seem so plain in the light of Christ. And now the big question is if I could gladly abandon them to follow Jesus. It’s easy to sing it off but painful to actualize.

I have decided, to follow Jesus
. ( x3 )
No turning back, no turning back.
The Cross before me, the world behind me.
( x3 )
No turning back, no turning back.

Thou none go with me, I still will follow. (
x3 )
No turning back, no turning back.


I tear whenever I sing this song because it reminds me of what I’m leaving behind.

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