August faith

August will be a hard month for me. Deadlines are drawing near. I starting to think there is a reason why deadlines are called deadlines. I hope I won't be dead before reaching that line. Everything is funneling down and the stress is getting more compressed/intense in the process. I realised that stress is more powerful when they are united/compressed. They are more focused and thus have greatly increased ability to destroy its host - the human. My observation of me and my situation tells me that I'm a still a phlegmatic. When stress comes in and instead of meeting it head on I'll choose to hide. From my exprience thus far, I conculded that thinking about stress is more stressful then stress itself.

If you read this please pray for me. I am precieved to be super free on the outside because I want to escape the dying me on the inside. My faith guage is running out. Apologetics and reading the faith expriences of people don't feed me anymore. I'm relying heavyily on my past exprience with the almighty. All hopes now are pinned on what I went through with God in my past 3years. Its THAT hope which I'm holding on tightly now that still keeps me alive admist of my chaos environment that keeps begging for my attention and congesting me with the knowledge of their consequences.

I want out.