Top and Bottom

It has been a hard two weeks for me ever since my last entry, as hard as it seems for me, God helped me realised quite a number of things. (call them revelation or whatever for all I care.)

In the past few years, I have been through alot. I have experienced what issit like to feel God's blessing and what issit like to be in perpetual dryness of inspiration. I have known what issit like to be feeling good and what issit like to be suicidal. I have understood the meaning of being forgiven and the pleasure of communion. I have tasted what it feels like to be at the top and I have also experienced what it is like to be a nobody and being pushed around by everybody.

Someone need to tell everyone that there is nothing at the top. Really. We try so hard to get what we thought was everything but when we got there we still find the same emptiness. It is at that point of meaninglessness that we are forced to acknowledge (or even assume the concept of) a God. For without the acknowledgement (or assumption) of the infinite, its impossible for Man to have an infinite purpose thus worthy and fulfilling.

Someone need to tell everyone that there is nothing unfair and wrong for being at the bottom. Being at the bottom is not the end. It is when we are in a pit hole where there seem to be no way out of, that we will be forced also to acknowledge (or even assume the concept of) a God. I wonder why we always try so hard to stay on top and shun the bottom and we blame ourselves if we fail to stay on top. We forget that it is only natural and that it is the will of God.

And now I tell you this that there is nothing special in either of them. In fact, I feel that its better to be at the bottom most of the time. It is when I'm cornered in a situation that I grow the most. It is at the bottom that my knowledge of God is being perpetually challenged. The only special experience that one can get from being at at either point is the opportunity to acknowledge (or even assume the concept of) a God. That no matter where or who you are born to and what situation anybody is in, we are all given the same opportunity to acknowledge God. So the question that everybody should is asking should not be "God, where are you?" but rather "God, who are You?".

It is when we ask the right questions that we realize that the answers has all along been staring at us in the face. It is when we ask the correct questions that our blindfolds are removed and that we will begin to discover the bigger picture and gain wisdom. That God is indeed the faithful one and that He is faithful because He loves. That He is indeed what He said Himself to be and worshiping Him would be the pleasure that surpasses all emotion.