Ideas have consequences

Its just feels so bad to know that you have just blown your only chance. And it makes you feel even worse when you know that the ultimate faults all lies with you and that no amount of excuse however real and true can make the guilt go away. Seems like the only two words you can muster is a mere weak "i'm sorry". And it really feels so insignificant that you don't really want to say anything at all but you still said it because you are really really sorry and you really feel that you can only do this much to apologise. Sometimes people say that because they want to escape the consequence, others just really seek to be forgiven. I guess for now i'm both.