I want to die

What a catching title isn't it? Yes it is true, i do want to die. Not that i'm suicidal or depressed and all but just that when you think about it, it would be better if God take you away now then when you have more people depending on you to live. Well thats what i think would be better. But then God is still God, if i choose to exsist for His purpose then whether died or alive i would want to be of use to God.

Well, this is just a passing thought which is not-so-new in my mind. Just that i'm very tired because of all the workload and that Enzheng suddenly asked me what i want. So i answered that i want to die because i figured that when i die, i'll get to really rest in peace physically, emotionally and spirtually. Anyways i realised that i'm not alone in this manic depressive mindset, big names in the bible wished to die too. Isaiah is one, Apostle Paul too (among many others). He said that he wish he could die but it was not his time yet.

Slog on matt, its not your turn yet. Live for the kingdom of God and because you so love the people around you who are still alive.

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Here I am at your feet
Crying out to you
Draw me near, hold me close
Lord I wait on you
For you are my greatest love
You are my comforter and strength
You are the first, You are the last
You are my guiding light

I will run, I will soar
On eagles' wings
As I wait on you Lord
My strength is restored
Fix my eyes on you Jesus
As I run this this race
Help me fight this fight of faith