Struggle and grace

I'm back. And I'm very much convinced that the longer I stay absent from blogging the more unmotivated I’ll feel from actually doing it. So much happened since July, the journey has been new and difficult but it has been good. My intense struggles prove that God very much exist and that He is doing a great work in my life, just like what He promised. As much as I hate the fact that I have to struggle to do things right, I am glad that they exist, for without which I wouldn’t be who I am now. Not saying that I’m perfect and without flaw but in every way the very opposite.

I figured that my struggles grow more intense the closer I am to God. I believe that my imperfections greatly amplify the perfection of God. Now I understand that when I’m weak, He is strong. If God is to be amplified then I guess I will need to know humility and be seen as weak for it is not me that trigged the struggle but rather it’s the Holy Spirit that is working in and through me. He who is righteous revealed my sinful nature. I am really disgusting. And I figured that the more disgusting I know myself to be, the more beautiful Christ will seems to be. And yes, He is the beautiful one, holy, righteous, cloaked in all His glory and majesty.

Despite of all these I’m rather surprised that God’s favor is still with me. Everyday I witness His favor showering upon me. And I know I don’t deserve all these things that put smiles on my face. Joy really kills pain. His grace has been more then sufficient for me. Not a day has passed without me acknowledging that. And for that, I’m very glad and I give thanks.

That ‘umbrella’ that He provides as shelter during times of temptation and persecution, I realized, is His grace. That ‘umbrella’ is something that we can never run away from. His grace is just there waiting for us even if we don’t desire or deserve. God’s love for us is something that should cause us to make pause.