The fellowship of believers

Just now we had a short night chapel service in school; a 5 min worship session followed by a short 15min sermon by Peter Soh. The worship was just so wonderful. I guess I really missed the privileged experience of people praising God, worshipping and praying together with me. Such environment really spurs me on in my walk with God. I guess they also serve as a reminder that I am not the only one around chasing tight after God. Even though I do not know most of the people there, I feel that the worship had already bonded us together.

It's really been so long since I am able to go for a church service and I would say that I really miss it. I think what I really long for is a good time of fellowship. However the thing that satisfies me today is not the typical fellowship that we always talked about. Christian fellowship doesn't really happen unless God is the focus of a gathering of God's people. Biblical fellowship is really powerful as God really moves through the fellowship and uses them to encourage the individuals.

I really thank God. It's a small thing but I really feel that it's a great privileged to be able to be there :)

Cue the sun

I tried my best to fight this feeling of uselessness and I really wished I could do so much more. I'm so stuck in camp that I feel so useless in ministry and so distant from everyone. Can close friends become strangers? Oh Lord, sustain me.

If I find my way through the darkest of days,
Will I laugh about the things that kept me awake?
But if my greatest fear paints itself so crystal clear,
Will I run away or will I hide?

And if I don't come home tonight,
Just know I tried my best to fight.
Please don't think I plan to lose to the night.
And curse the moon so dull and bright,
My heavy soul can't stand the light.
It burns me straight to the bones, my bones.

Kept promises

I have always known that God has called me into ministry but many times just I don’t want to believe it because that path would require me to sacrifice my dreams and ambitions in unbelievable proportions. And because of that I really struggled for quite some time (I still am but in minor proportions) and managed to obey and submit. I have always known that God wants me to study during my time in army (and after that) in preparation for ministry later on.

So as an obedient worshiper I started to take on modules. Since then I have always been so surprised that my regimental duties NEVER fell on my class dates. To those who didn’t knew I just got posted out from my current base HQ office to some far ulu ammo depot due to fierce office politics. I was rather shocked and worried when I first got the news. In my mind, I questioned God about my calling; I questioned God about his promise. I wonder why he would put an end to things when things are going so well, according to his plan. I was so seriously stressed up that I can do nothing but worry.

To my utter surprise my new work place is even better than the previous! Apart from the obvious much less stressful environment, there is this policy in my new unit that encourages its personnel to study. So with that policy, they will definitely not place me on regimental duties on my class dates and on top of that, I’ll be able to leave camp one hour earlier than the usual.

As if that is not good enough, it was raining on the first time I left for my class from camp and so I was waiting for the bus. I realized that I was going to be late since I’m in a very ulu place and the bus is not coming. Then there was this contractor who was driving out from the camp. So in my mind I wished that he could give me a lift all the way to my desired destination. I figured that the chances were very slim but I gave it a try anyways. What can I say?! God is really good! By him fetching me all the way is really as if God is putting the icing on the cake. Oh wow!

I still think that God is really interesting and irritating all at the same time. It’s like a love-hate relationship. But I guess here, the loving bit clearly out weights the hate bit. So much so as to now, I willingly submit to his Lordship because I’m very sure that he is the faithful one, and he will keep his part of the ‘bargain’ and take care of me every step of the way.

The Bible says it so well with a succinct promise in Isaiah 26:3: "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you". Many times the reason in which we are stressed is due to our lack of faith. We stress unnecessarily over the question of God’s providence when if we have enough faith in him, we need not. I believe that with faith, we can truly have like what Isaiah described as perfect peace.

Probably that’s the reason as to why we usually observe in people whom we deem as ‘full-of-faith’, this bubbly joy that transcends personality and we marvel at the way this joy makes them look so alive. That is because true joy comes from peace that flows from within. It’s only with faith can we begin to experience the peace that Isaiah speak of. And with that can we experience that true joy which is by no accident, one of the fruits of the spirit that Apostle Paul talks about.

When we are living in his will, we will experience surprising things at every turn. The many impossibles that He will make possible just simply because He wills it to be. And truly, just as how King David put it in Psalm 27 “The LORD is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?” If God is with us who can be against us!

So lets all believe that God really works for the good of those who believe in him, those whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in him. Let’s believe in it and live it out!