Loving God

When I came to think about it, actually it doesn't bother me so much if i'm loved by you or not. I guess love is not about the getting but rather about the loving. Love is the only thing that defies reason. If there is any other reason other then love itself it wouldn't be love.

I'm enticed by your beauty. How you painted the skies; How the ocean looks. I've seen so many of them and yet I know that all those that I saw cannot compare to who you are. You are far more beautiful then all these. How can a creation be more beautiful then its creator. I'm very much contented just to sit around and marvel at your grace and holiness. Sitting around and marvel at how you promised me a "forever with you". When you say forever, can't you see you've already captured me.

I have grew to discover that all that I really need is you. Truly, all that I have is all that I badly wanted. All that I have is all I badly needed and all that I have is yours, all that I am is yours. When you give you really did gave in excess. I dare say that I am never in need.

When love is about the loving then being loved in return would be a bonus. In fact, love only makes sense when I love for loving sake. That very act of being loved in return is beyond what I wanted and that is what you have given me. I hold on to the promise that I'm so loved by you. I guess this is what people call faith.

When the patriarchs of the old testament obeyed and followed God, note that no promise of love was given to them. No Jesus to die on the cross and proclaim that love. And yet they understood God's love. Why then is that so. Is there something that we are missing out?

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I guess this is a answer from me to my previous post. This is from what I understood about love. I understand no more than this. This may seem like I'm skirting the topic but if this is true then I forsee this big chasm of thought that I can't cross. I guess sometimes its just better not to think. Ok I'm crawling back to my shell again.

love of God

What is so special about this love that we have always "blindly" wanted.

Please comment so that I can "hear" your views.
And oh, Samantha is asking the same question too.

Action Faith

I chanced upon the topic of faith when talking to Rachael Lim today in service. It suddenly occurred to me how people used "by faith" as the answer to end a topic. Like for example;

a says - So what are you going to do about your problem?
b says - by faith lor.

I figured that this theology thou correct, is incomplete. Here is the problem; why say "by faith" when you have no intention of doing anything to solve your problem?

Well, I guess you guys heard of the saying of which goes, "God wouldn't help those who don't help themselves." Yes its true, God uses circumstances and situation to test, mould and help us. Yes I also know that one might move on to say that we shouldn't mirco-view God. Yes we shouldn't, but i wasn't implying that. Think about it this way; isn't it laziness too if we just sit back and throw everything to God and expect him to do everything?

Faith is a belief based action word. The action is caused by the belief in something and is also the demonstration of one's belief. Note this, there is two parts to faith; the belief and the action. If one removes the action part of faith, then faith wouldn't make much sense. So what if you believe that God can do all things? Without action it speaks nothing about your belief, in fact, without action, the word "Faith" is not even justified. Faith then becomes an excuse we deploy in the form of a spirtual jargon.

Believing is mental, Faith is actual. Faith is different from "believing". Faith is "believing" with legs on it. Therefore, action is the evidence of the presence of faith not the spoken word.

Note that this is not word play. I'm so very concerned because I noticed people using "by faith" as a excuse to skirt a topic. Hence, the word "Faith" should be used correctly and not be used as THE answer and end of a topic. Rather, it should be used as a start of the it. "For with God, all things are possible." "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." So do you see these phrases in a different light now?

To have faith, it takes much more then knowing the word of God. One must know the word of God AND also know the God of that word!

Fellowship

As I dwelled more into thinking about "canned" (see the last post) answers. God brought these to my mind.

I noticed quite a few (or many) intances when I asked my kids for thanksgiving they will normally say "I thank God because he is faithful". Yeah I mean that is correct and theologically sound but don't you think its still surface, head knowledge? I had enough of the standard questions and replies. I call that "canned". I don't understand why when asked a question they "repeat" to me the character of God (which they did a good job of learning) BUT when probed more into why they said what they said, they took so long to think. I mean shouldn't they have already thought about that before they answer?

Its like memorising memory verses for the sake of memorising. In doing so we forgot that the memorising will not change us unless we apply the truths we have memorised into our lives. The accumulation of knowledge will do you nothing unless you apply it. I guess from now on, I should encourage everyone I talk to, to share their applied knowledge. I guess that would it would make sharings more fruitful and honest.

I'm begining to feel sorry for my kids. I think they are always very stressed when I talk to them because they know that they cannot escape. Hahs sorry guys but I guess that SHOULD be the way. This is the essence of fellowship. Don't you know that even when two or three are gathered, it still wouldn't be called fellowship unless God is the midst of the exchange?

I also noticed another thing, like in church why do we ask "how are you?" when we don't expect a reply? See the irony? Well, this is only one of the many example of prescribed or "canned" questions we throw at people. We become so professional in doing so that the words had lost their meaning. I guess everybody is gulity of this, I even witnessed Pastor David Lim doing it to me. No one is free from it. And I tought that this is actually quite common. More often in fast paced circles. Everything is PR.

What Joseph said is correct, this is "just a perfunctory greeting." Or rather this have grown to be a perfunctory greeting. As I dived deeper into that thought, God got me to realise this; because it has became a culture for us to say that in our physical world, have we used the same perfunctory greeting towards God?

Suddenly this alarming question dawned on me. Where am I when God called me? Did I used too the "Hi, how are you" thing on God? Has the word "fellowship" lost its meaning for me too?

The more busy we are, the more "still" before God we must get. For it is in Him, He promised to give us rest. For it is in him, we learn what is the meaning of fellowship. Our attitude towards people is a display of our attitude towards God.

Canned thoughts and answers

Yesterday while doing street e and talking to people, for once I decided to shut up and listen to the conversation, to think about their what i speak about and their reply. The money chase is very real. The need for acceptance is very real. Feelings are real.

I realised that things are not acadamics anymore, their feelings and problems are real and so my answers need to be. I don't want to give canned and unthought through answers anymore. I don't want to be like Job's friends who gave very sound and theologically correct answers but grossly missed his point.

Lets not speak as if the words spoken are more important then the people at the receiving end. Its not about apologetics, its about needs. We can do everything but if we have not loved, we had done nothing.

So I guess works without love equates pride.

Holiness

Have your mind ever wondered about the holiness of God? The more I think about it the more unqualified I felt to appreciate the holiness of God. We cannot grasp the true meaning of the divine holiness by simply taking someone or something very pure then raising the concept to the highest degree we are capable of. God's holiness isn't simply something we know infinitely bettered. We know nothing like the divine holiness. It stands apart, unique, unapproachable, incomprehensible, unattainable. The natural man is blind to it. We may fear God's power, admire His wisdom but His holiness we cannot even imagine.

So despite knowing all these theory, one may ask what is the intensity of the divine holiness? How does it feel like? In the earliest days of God's self disclosure, we are given a glimpse of the fear that overwhelmed the people as they awaited Moses' return from the top of the mountain. They knew their leader stood a unique position among all creation when he was beckoned by God to come and receive his commands. Fear is what they felt. A fear that cause them to show and have reverence towards their God.

If the mosaic law experience in Exodus 19 and 20 were not enough, check out the following from Exodus 33:18-23

Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory." And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

This really captured my mind. In my mind i was like, wow!!! I cannot even imagine what God meant by ALL his goodness. I cannot help but put myself in Moses' shoes, trying see though his eyes. How issit really like when all of who God is - all his glory - all his goodness - all his holiness - all his might, etc etc, to sum it all up, "the great I AM" passes in front of you. But I know I can never see what Moses saw and what happened can never be like what I imagined it to be. How can a finite being like me understand what is infinitely infinite.

Indeed the divine holiness is terrifying but then holiness can only be terrifying when untempered by grace. At the realisation of this I can't stop thanking God. It brings me back to the state of awe coupled with tons of thanksgiving. I hope the same goes to you, the reader too.

So yes we knew all along that God as our Holy Father, but what does that mean to you?

Awe

Biblically in the Old Testament its also known as "the fear of the Lord". Its used as a designation of true piety (Prov. 1:7; Job 28:28; Ps. 19:9). It is a fear thats coupled with love and hope, and is therefore not a slavish dread, but rather filial reverence. "Holy fear" is intergrated also in the New Testament as a preventive of carelessness in religion. (Matt. 10:28; 2Cor. 5:11; 2Cor. 7:1; Phil. 2:12; Eph. 5:21; Heb 12:28,29).

In contemporary sense, we all need to come to a state of awe towards our God. For without it we cannot worship God. Every creation will bear the trademarks of the creator, Awe is the same as looking at a creation and marvel at its creator. To paraphrase that, awe is the same as looking at the mountians and going "woah" because its so beautiful. It is that "woah" feeling that makes us realise the omni presence, omni science, omni potentacy of the God that we worship.

For worship is ultimately about our response towards our all holy and almighty God who is also all loving. Knowing this, worship is not about coming together to sing songs, raise our hands and feeling emo. Its so much more than that! When Solomon tells us to fear God (Prov. 1:7), he is talking about having reverence for God. This means having more than just respectful actions, but to actually feel respect for God. The songs and music should firstly not come from the worship band but rather from every single participant of the worship session. Your expression should not be based on instruction but rather spring forth naturally from a inner spring of uncontained joy and gratitude. Then thanksgiving and praise would be a conscious effort and worship be pleasing to our God, the Lord almighty. If we truly have a deep respect, tinged with awe, for God, then it will manifest itself outwardly.

We display worship only to the audience of one. So lets show it by living a life that demonstrate just that.

Daphne Loves Derby

Music is all about finding melodies and lyrics that love each other, and putting them together. Nothing what so ever feels better than hearing a song for the first time, and knowing it will be your favorite for weeks to come. Music is the purest, most amazing representation and celebration of human emotion. - Daphne Loves Derby

Here and download them here. They are like my favourite band for now... and for maybe a long time to come.

The reason to why i can't draw

WHY GOD WHY?!!! Why give me every talent other but that?! I wonder why am I always thrown into doing areas which I'm not good in. I totally donno how to do. I feel so helpless, I feel so nothing, so bleah.

Or is my ruler of comparison wrong? That only those artist that can draw are consider good.

So how now, brown cow? I'm feeling so lousy about myself. Do you need me to be nothing so that you can make me into the thing you want me to be? Ok, now you got what you want. I am nothing but dust, you made me who i am. Take it all back if you will it.

Thank you for letting me taste glory. Help me to be contented with just you. That when you so choose to give or take away my heart will still choose to say that your grace is more than enough for me.

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How could i survive without your love
and the hope you bring.
even when the sky is falling down, i know i have you,
and it's all i need.

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Josh my little brother

He actually cleaned up the whole house today when no one accept me and him is at home. Vacuumed the whole house and arranged everything neatly. And what was I doing you might ask? Yes I was sleeping and he did everything and didn't complained.

I didn't tell him this, that I as his brother am very encouraged by this change in his life. He actually asked me if I have any Christian books that he could read. I started to see him praying and faithfully reading the 40days book and writing on his journal.

What encouragement could be greater then witnessing one of your family member's life being changed by the intentional following of Jesus? It has always been my prayer to see him grow in the Lord. I hope that someday I would just tell him that I'm very encouraged by him.

Heart of Street Evangelism

Actually whether it rains or not it doesn't matter. The circumstances need not matter. Nothing can thwarth God's plan. One thing that I pray is that this will place the youths and leaders in a position for growth in the Lord. I hope that one day this all will be natural, not processed and "rehearsed talk". But I guess all will have to start somewhere.

"If love ever have a intention other then itself then it wouldn't be love." Someone ever told me this when I was sharing my life with him. I think he is so smart that he can see the gospel part coming that even before I share the gospel to him he had already set up his defenses. hahs

Yes I know the intention is good. We want to love "because" it is God's intention that we become like Christ and that Christ first love us therefore we want to learn to love too. Ok, but note the "because" attached to the initial love intent. So are we then helpless in loving our neighbours? We all have the capacity to love but its against our nature to love another apart from our own. But with the transforming power of Christ this all can change!!!

We should grow in compassion and one day eliminate all other reasons. That means at the end of the day, even if Christ didn't died for you, if God haven't commanded, we should still love our neighbours as ourselves because its second nature to us.

The "because" would then be not of so much importance anymore. Obeying God would then be more of a process and product rather then the reason for our love intention.

In conclusion, for starters it is good that Christ is the reason as to why we love but we should all grow deeper in our reason of loving by loving without reason because love in essence is unconditional. There is no such thing as conditional love.

So lets culture ourselves to love. To show people clearly that we do everything out of compassion for we are intentionally learning to be more like Christ. Just that we are all in the process of becoming. In this light, street evangelism is good "training ground" for those comrades wanting to follow God and be more like Christ. I pray that God will give us his compassion for the people.

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Ok, I guess this is a big paradigm shift for some people. What that is written above is actually not all focused on Street E, rather its more about loving God. Loving God is an action word that involves six things:

"...for the Lord your God is testing you to find out if you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. You shall follow the Lord your God and fear Him; and you shall keep his commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him" (Deuteronomy 13:3-4)

Lord, teach us to value our most precious identity. Its not about being a christian leader or mentor but rather, being your child. Deepen our love relationship with you. May we not be like Esau, who exchanged his birthright for a bowl of pottage.

I wonder why that no matter how much I say I love God, words always make love seems so shallow.

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ok, my engine is starting to warm up, time to work now.

Tired of everything

For some reason when I think of school work or any work now I'll rather be under my blankets. For some reason I dislike my computer so much. I don't really like switching on my machine anymore. probly because I'm just lazy or probly i'm just hit by a tired plague. I'll gladly do anything other then work. God please help me get started.

ok i'll go to bed now, again.