Thursday, December 25, 2008

I will be trying out wordpress for now.

www(dot)theupperroomdiaries(dot)wordpress(dot)com

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Spectacular Somethings Part 2

I remember posting in October regarding a lament about my lack of experience in the tangible monetary provision of God, and I went on to say that this lack has been feeding me with doubts since this provision seems to be a normal experience among most servants of the Lord.

Wed night was quite something for me, after getting my much needed macbook (which I have been saving up for quite sometime), I practically drained my whole savings account. I saved up just enough money for the edu. priced macbook but the retail stores does not sell them with the edu. discounts. Jer managed to pull some strings with her ex boss and it became possible to get what I wanted at the price that I can afford. I really thank God for Jer, she has been such a blessing to me. She gave me a notebook sleeve when I could not afford one; after checking out the price, I found it to be rather ex...

Whats even more cool is this; during the service at night when it came the time for offering collection, I opened my wallet and realized that I was down to my last $10. I really wanted to give it all but the hesitation was real - it was my last $10. I put in only $2 (how faithless!) and after I did that Jeanie turned around and passed me an envelope saying that an anonymous person wanted me to pass me this - I opened it and there it was - a $50 note. I was like *eyes-wide-open-woah!*, its really something out of a standard testimony happening. And the coolness doesn't end here yet, over the next few days people have been coming forward to return me money - $5, $10, $2... Its such a miracle that all these happen at the same time and they became the money I did not know I had.

My mom also asked me to help her buy a wireless laptop mouse that she could use when she bring her lappie out. Well, if she doesn't then I get to use it!!! So its all cool now. I'm able to bring my work around, to be where I need to be and to do work there - something I would not be able to do last time and esp so now, since I would be moving around quite abit from now on. I guess this is a sobering reminder that God does not forget and desires to give us good gifts when he sees it fit to do so. Our part is to be faithful in doing the will of the Lord and not to worry about hindrances for He is faithful and He makes our paths straight.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Rhema Conference

I really thank God for the chance to serve as a counselor (among other roles) during the span of Rhema Con. Guess it is like a testing ground for me to explain the gospel, to speak of complex terms and the reason for christian practices without the use of christian lingo. I guess the true goal of teaching is to make the lesson simple even when the truth/principle is complicated. And I'm glad to say that by the grace of God, I passed my own test.

It has become totally exciting to meet new believers who are also excited about their new found savior. The Gospel has never been so alive to me till I see it in their faces. And it is also exciting to witness how God can move through me; I guess my area of ministry would really be in preaching and teaching, just like what God said it would be, it is slowly becoming more and more real; to the extent that it becomes scary to see what He told me happening. God has showed and promised me many things, and some of the things are so big that I really just don't want to believe them when I look at my current self.

I guess I am at the stage where I can totally identify with people who share their testimonies about God's tangible provision and how this is the time where they need God more than ever. The greater the mountain means the greater the time spent in prayer seeking favor, wisdom and direction.

Change has started. I guess things would be very exciting from now.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Minefield

Most people think that birthdays and funerals are like poles apart but I starting to look at them thinking that they are the same - that they both celebrate the gift of life. Staring at a blank piece of canvas trying to convince myself that my relationship with my dad cannot be defined by pieces of design that I can do for him.

Its like a minefield of emotions and I think tripped them all today. Can't even type well nowadays. So be it.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Untitled

So many things happened in a span of a few days, things that are not too nice to talk about openly. Now I can't wait for leader's retreat, just wanna go somewhere and just get away from my immediate environment for a few days.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Something New

This is rather unusual; its not really like me to be so focused on so many things, to be the driver of my own plans, to even plan things and to see that the plan itself comes to past. I know that these are the qualities I have been praying for, that these are qualities necessary to fill my future role in the kingdom of God according to His calling. But all these are coming so suddenly that I'm really afraid that they will go away as fast as they came judging that I'm primarily a sanguine by nature.

So may this be some sort of a new beginning. May I never be so busy that God becomes first priority only in theory but not practiced. May I never be too busy that I be blinded towards the people I love. May I, may I not forget who I was, my weaknesses and all and take this chance to set up barriers to guard them tight.

Lord, as I look at the plans I have for next year, they really do look so huge on my side of the plane but I know it is considered accomplished with you and I really do need you more than before. May you never fail to speak to me, and may I never fail to keep myself in check so that I would never fail to hear from you - that the most busy of time would find me seeking you all the more.